There was a time I was cowardly. I would hide in my ivory tower and contemplate society, ideology, and my place within them. Or more accurately, without them. There was a time when all my time was spent on the past, paralyzed in fear of the future. Constantly critiquing my past performances and trying to avoid repeated mistakes.
At times I think that this was wasted time, but I know it's not true. It's the suffering I had to endure to become the person I am. To guide a path from me, to you.
You taught me to leave the past where it is. To visit it at happy times, and look at it through rosy glasses. To learn lessons and move on. You taught me not to fear the future. To ignore it. To ignore the "what ifs" and to plunge.
You taught me the phrase "fuck it".
You glowed with presence. With permanence. You showed me life is worth living for right now. That money is transient, is better shared than hoarded.
You taught me how to live.
You taught me how to love again. How to stitch pieces of a broken heart, how to fill it with the snatches of love you find everyday, discarded and unwanted by strangers. You taught me to see only beauty in a world I find so ugly.
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