No, not how much
But the way that I do
It's not something I completely understand
I have known the love of a girl that I lusted as much as I love
This doesn't burn quite as intensely and needily as that
I have known the love of family
This doesn't feel as passive and foundational as that
The love of friends is so fleeting compared to what I feel for you
It's not like any of that
I want to say I love you like I would love a sister, but I know its a little more profound than that too
I love you the same way I feel when certain music plays with no lyrics
And there is only that feeling of immense joy bursting to break free from my chest
And a lump the size of a tennis ball forms in my throat
Or rather, you make me feel like I could leap right out into space and zoom off at the speed of light
And yet never be afraid of feeling too far away from you
And no matter how far we might be in space from each other
I would still feel the warmth of the love you seem to have for me no matter what
I think love might not even be the right word
Because the word almost seems to imply a beginning and an end
And I can't remember a time before feeling this way about you
And I can't imagine a time it ever will stop
I think love is the wrong word because it seems to imply I have a choice in it
And yet it feels as fundamental to existence as the earth beneath our feet
As the sun and sky about our heads
It scares me how much I love you
Because I am scared of the day you stop loving me
I am scared that when I am done living, there will be more days that I have loved you, than you have loved me back
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