That you felt so far away, so high above
A time when I felt so beneath and below you
Every time you batted an eyelash in my direction
I got another glimpse through a gateway
To a life that could be
I wanted so earnestly for that place to be real
I wanted it so hard that I couldn't stand to be around you
Afraid that the reality could never hold up
That I couldn't hold up
Things have changed since then
I have grown more bitter, my heart hardened.
I have grown more cheerful, my heart painted over
I have become more alive, my heart pumping with fresh blood
I have become more dead, my heart beating down to the end of days
But most of all
I am now aware of who I am.
Of who you are.
That nothing is as golden or dreary as the movies made it.
That there is no fairytale endings or perfect romances.
Or lives filled with heartache and redemption.
That our life is not just one act away from the moment she comes running back to you.
There is nothing in life that cannot be achieved.
There is nobody too good for you (or too bad).
There is only life. And people.
And love.
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