My life is a collection of six happy memories
That I struggle to hold onto
As I get swept away in a spiral of hopelessness
Sprinting from task to mindless meaningless task
Hoping to run from the despair hulking in the recesses of my mind
And I smile in dimly lit intimate bars
Laughing and nodding at everyone's stories
And telling and retelling my six happy memories
While pretending it's just the surface of a content and wonderful life
And sometimes I believe it too
That my life is just 37 total minutes of existence
That was all pure bliss
And the rest was just sleep
Or like the middle of a sneeze
And I lived between the moments I wiped my nose
Before another four year wind up to a sneeze
And in the early morning
When its early enough that the sun hasn't even come up yet
I wonder if maybe I'm just having one long nightmare
That no, really, I don't deserve to live in my mind with people that hate me
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