There's a sick bit of joy and comfort you can take from hopeless depression. It's easier when you feel everything and everyone is against you, that the odds are stacked to make you lose, that your God has forsaken you. It let's you blame everything but yourself for your problems. It lets you get away with doing nothing about it. But life is a lot less convenient than that. And it's so much worse and hopeless when nobody cares, when nobody pays attention. When whether you succeed or fail makes no difference to anyone anyways.
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