Friday, April 4, 2014

Breaking Up With Your Ghost: A Guide

With these three simple tips, you too can achieve all your dreams! Remember your ABC's!

Avoid all live encounters! This includes visits, accidental encounters in public, or phone calls of any kind. Resort instead to asynchronous communication, such as SMS texting or email. This will ensure you are never immediately available, and never obligated to respond.

Be overly excited! For those times you can't hide behind your phone or computer, feigning a bubbly personality can trick most unobservant eyes into thinking you have a fully formed personality and truly are interesting and interested. Just open your eyes a little wider, smile with your teeth showing constantly, and be excited about everything the other person happens to be talking about.

Chat about nothing! Make sure to be prepared with mindless banter about topics that you could talk for long periods of time about, but are the conversational equivalent of packing kernels. Avoid things like politics, wars, and general topics that people might feel strongly about, you don't want to give away how little you know about it all!


No comments:

Post a Comment